If you asked me five years ago if I would ever get a tattoo on my body, with quick haste I would reply “no.” Now, a tattoo resides forever on my right wrist. The imprint of “enough.” forever inked on my wrist means I went through something difficult. I processed through the lies and pain instead of not dealing with the hard stuff. To me “enough.” means truth won, and the lies I didn’t even know held my heart captive for so long no longer rule over me. To me “enough.” means freedom from the lies that controlled my thoughts and actions.
In a moment when the floor fell out from under me like that horrible spinning fair ride where centrifugal force holds you up on the side of the walls, I chose to trust God. The world I desired and pined after for longer than I would like to admit now belonged to another. In that moment, they felt so much more than I did. Insecurities and lies from as far back as high school began to flood my heart. I must not be pretty enough, smart enough, worthy enough, dateable enough, interesting enough, successful enough, fit enough – this list could go on for pages, as in it does in my journal.
The theme popping up time and time again, enough. Why would I believe a lie about not being enough? I know that in Christ I am made to be enough. He paid the ultimate price. I am the daughter of the one true king (2 Corinthians 6:18). I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14). My sins are washed clean by the cross (John 3:16). And yet for so long I allowed myself to believe, I lack being _____ enough.
With the pain and emotions raw, on a Monday night I decided I would tattoo “enough.” on my wrist. I told one person who came with me on a whim. Some random guy at a local tattoo parlor that I should have maybe done more research on (turns out after he started my tattoo we found out he was an intern…) forever branded me with the truth that in Christ I am enough, period.
I am pretty enough. I am smart enough. I am worthy enough. I am valuable enough. I am loved enough. I am beautiful enough. I am faithful enough. I am wise enough. I am good enough. I am interesting enough. I am brave enough. I am adventurous enough. I am intelligent enough. I am kind enough. I am athletic enough. I am fit enough. I am called enough. I am enough. I am worthy of being pursued. I am dateable enough no matter what history or trends point to. I am important enough for The Lord to prepare a man of God for me. And if there is not a man of God in my future, it does not mean I am not enough. My worth and value lie in Christ alone, not in circumstance or relationship status. God mastered a plan for my life, and yours, before He formed me in my mother’s womb, a plan that puts my feeble, grand daydreams to shame. He knows the whole story and in His story, because of Christ, I am enough.
The truth continues to wash over me like slow lapping waves wash over the sand – it begins to erode away at the lies I mistook as truth for so long and instead Christ illuminates the truth that is and will become my mantra of “enough.” I don’t know what the future holds and I know there are many, many, many, more things to work through and process – BUT on this day I rely on Christ with all of my being.
You may find yourself in a similar hard spot, wondering if you are ______ enough. It sucks. But know you are not alone. In Christ you are made whole. In Christ you are enough. He sees you. You are not forgotten. You are beloved. Begin to seek Him with a new vigor. Ask Him to show you truth. Slowly but surely those lies will fade away and His truth will reign supreme. It doesn’t happen overnight and it does not come with ease, but the outcome supercedes all of the pain making it so worth it. And if you do go get a tattoo, do a little more research than I did, and maybe don’t let an intern forever ink your body.
“O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary
Beholding your power and your glory.
Because your steadfast love is better than life,
My lips will praise you.
So I will bless you as long as I live in your name I will lift up my hands.”